The Wheat and the Weeds
MidJourney: Captain Zog’s Ground Team (2023)
In a distant dimension, far, far away, Captain Zog decided to initiate Project Earthly Enlightenment. He dispatched a team of ultra-terrestrial gardeners to sprinkle Earth with Cosmic Stardust, meant to awaken human consciousness and promote inter-dimensional peace.
Before the Cosmic Stardust could work its charm, Glib, that mischievous profiteer from BlackSun Consortium, convened a secretive meeting with his BlackSun posse. “Alright, gang, what’s our counter-strategy to mess with human consciousness and increase our profit margins?” Glib asked.
One entity proclaims, “I’ll convince people that goodness doesn’t exist.” Another declared, “I’ll persuade them that evil is an illusion.” Yet, a third chimed in, “I’ll assure them there’s no rush.”
Glib, tapping his chin and smirking, recognized the potency of complacency. He responded to the third, “Proceed, for your approach is most effective. And just for a tad bit of extra chaos, sprinkle a dash of Distracto-Dust.”
—
MEMO
BlackSun Consortium Internal Directive: Operation Ensnarement
To: Executive Leadership Team
From: Glib, Chairman of BlackSun Consortium
Date: November 25, 2019
Subject: Strategic Initiatives for Global Influence
Esteemed Leaders,
Our previous endeavours have brought us unprecedented power and influence. However, the world evolves, and so must our strategies to ensure the continuation of our dominion. In light of recent developments, I propose the following strategies for the next phase of Operation Ensnarement:
Pleasure Paradigm Shift: Initiate a widespread campaign emphasizing hedonism and decadence as paramount values. Engage major influencers and control media narratives to portray unrestrained pleasure-seeking as the new norm.
Chemical Captivation: Accelerate our pharmacological ventures to produce potent yet addictive substances. Collaborate with entertainment industries to normalize their use, ensuring a substantial user base, dependent on our supply.
Conflict Catalyst: Through our deep-rooted networks in international affairs, subtly instigate conflicts and amplify existing tensions. A distracted and fearful populace is less likely to question our operations or our overarching influence.
Distracto-Dust Deployment: Our R&D department has finally perfected the Distracto-Dust, a covert compound to be infused discreetly in our range of products. This will cause its users to flit between states of ecstasy and distress, ensuring a constant craving for our manufactured solutions.
In conclusion, these are not mere suggestions but directives for immediate action. This is the path forward to solidify our control and navigate the world further into our desired state of delightful chaos. Your respective departments are to start implementing these measures without delay.
The future is ours to shape, and the world is ripe for the taking.
Regards,
Glib Chairman, BlackSun Consortium
—
So, in the cloak of a moonless night, while the Mars Rover was busy taking selfies, Glib and his gang scattered the notorious Distracto-Dust everywhere, causing binge-watching, X feuds, and endless scrolling.
As the Cosmic Stardust started working its magic, humans began to meditate, recycle, and join inter-dimensional yoga classes. But thanks to the Distracto-Dust, they also had an inexplicable urge to argue over pineapple on pizza and to create memes about cats plotting world domination.
Zog’s ground team, in a frantic Zoom call (because yes, ultra-terrestrials use Zoom too), reported the anomaly: “Captain Zog! We’ve got a mix of humans and others trying to convince everyone the shadows are real! What’s the plan?”
Zog, ever the pacifist, chuckled, “Let ‘em be. By the time of the Great Gathering, we’ll invite the awakened ones for a cosmic party aboard our ship to another dimension. As for the rest, let them figure out the pineapple pizza dilemma.”
Fast forward to the Gathering, Zog addressed the enlightened humans, “You guys did good! Sorry about the Distracto-Dust hiccup. Glib’s been assigned to a millennium of pineapple pizza taste-testing as punishment.”
And so, while the enlightened danced under cosmic lights, elsewhere on Earth, a fierce debate continued: pineapple or no pineapple? The universe, it seems, is larger than the cave.
